If You Broke the Law, Why is the Cop a Bad Guy?

I heard a conversation the other day between two people and the younger of the two kept referring to the police as "stupid cops." This is a phrase that bothers me deeply. I know close to 20 police officers closely, and I don't think any of them are stupid.

This youngster was calling the police officer stupid because he ran a red light in East Providence and got a ticket. So me, being the quiet type, asked this young man, "Well, did you run the red light?" to which he answered, "Yeah."

At this point I had to ask him what made the officer the stupid one of the two of them. He went on to complain that he feels he is being harrassed by several police departments in the area because he is forever getting pulled over. Once again I asked if he committed all or even any of the violations that the officers pulled him over for. Once again he admitted to me, with reluctance, that yeah he did, but "Why do they always have to write me a ticket?" My response? "Because you're always doing something wrong."

I feel bad for the police, and for the ones in town that I know. This is no suck-up. It seems that no one likes the police until you need them. Anytime you're driving and you see one behind you or parked on the side of the road, don't tell me you don't tense up a bit. I have had my share of run-ins in my lifetime with the police and I can't think of one time the cop was stupid.

One example, when I lived in Florida back in the late ’80s I was attending Broward Community College. On this particular morning I woke up late. I probably was out drinking the night before, and was going to be late to take a final. I was on the highway doing 90 when a state trooper saw me, cut through the median and pulled me over. He got out of the car and stormed up to me and asked me if I had any idea how fast I was going.

Me being the wise guy I am, and the old Docker Commercial being so fresh in my head, I replied, "Me? What about you? You had to turn around and then catch up to me. You sir, should be ashamed at how fast you're traveling." Not amused at all, he asked me where I was going in a hurry. After telling him about my exam and if I was late I would fail, he said to me, "Kid, you just failed."

That may be the one and only time that I called a cop stupid. After discussing this with my favorite bartender later that night, she told me that I was the stupid one and then she told me that her brother was a cop and that I risked my life and everyone else's lives that day. Since that day I have never said that a cop was stupid. (Well, does Rehoboth's chief count?) I will not tell you that all police officers are good ones, but just remember if they pull you over and write you a ticket, you were the stupid one.